DJ Munks.com

The much anticipated big release of Summer 2009 is here….

Kambakkht Ishq comes up true to expectations.

I expected Kambakkht Ishq to be better than Chandni Chowk To China… IT ISSSS.. !!!

I expected to be sleazy, dumb & crap… IT ISSSS !!!

If CC2C was super bad.. This is BAD…. n that’s a relief !!

Yup, I wasn’t expecting a great deal out of Kambakkht Ishq. The trailers looked stupid with the typical Akshay Kumar sleezy humour & extravagant senseless sets increasing the movie spend around a dumb script. Also, since it is a Sajid Nadiadwala movie you can expect it to be that weird style of comedy that you have seen in movies likes Judwaa, Mujhse Shaadi Karogi & Heyy Baby.

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The only thing I was looking forward to in this film was to see if Kareena Kapoor has got any weight-age to her performance as she has been almost missing in action after Jab We Met & has only done a few rubbish films like Golmaal Returns & Roadside Romeo. Plus, I wanted to see how have they managed to fit Hollywood stars like Sylvester Stallone, Denise Richards & Brandon Routh into a Bollywood script.

Another thing to figure out is if Director Sabbir Khan has any talent whatsoever in handling a big budget project like Kambakkht Ishq in his debut directorial venture.. Lets watch & find out..

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PLOT

Akshay Kumar is Viraj Shergill & the best Stuntman in Hollywood who does stunts for the likes of Brandon & Stallone. He is a total playboy who hates the concept of marriage. Kareena is Bebo/Simrita Rai who is an aspiring surgeon & also a supermodel when it comes to generating money to pay for medical school. She hates the concept of men all together since she has seen a lot of bad happen to the women in her family. Their paths are crossed when Akshay’s brother Aftab decides to marry Kareena’s best friend Amrita Arora. There is abuse, hatred, name calling, fighting, etc. all the time between them on every occasion they come across each other & that’s nearly all of the first half. In their ego trip fights they ruin Aftab & Amrita’s wedding too.

Akshay gets injured in a shoot & is taken to Kareena’s hospital for her first operation. She accidently leaves her watch inside his abdomen which keeps ringing a ‘Om Mangalam’ alarm every hour. She realises this later & now has to do everything possible to get pally with him & get him back to her operation theatre and remove the watch before he finds out and sue’s her career to an end. Over the meetings Akshay now is falling for her while she is just playing a game. She manages to operate & get her watch back but shue’s Akshay away. He is heart broken & now about to marry Denise Richards [for God's sakeee...!!! ] It’s now left to Kareena to see his soft humane side & fall in love with him & stop them before they tie the knot.

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REVIEW

The plot does sound funny when you read about it with the continuous fighting between two people who hate marriage & the whole idea of leaving the watch in his stomach. But believe me.. it’s not funny when you see it..!! Except for a few Akshay scenes I couldn’t even force myself to laugh at the rest. The worst part is you can see director Sabbir Khan is trying really hard to make you laugh in every scene but fails drastically.. His direction is not too bad but this man has also written the story & screenplay…  & that’s where he has ruined the movie !! The script is a disaster to say the least for a story that could have been really funny.

The amount of money spent on this movie is ridiculous & seems like a total waste. Totally set in LA with some parts in Italy. The cinematography & locations are all good but that’s it seems they worked on. The script & performances were neglected. They have managed to fit the Hollywood stars well in the few scenes they have but all other performances are average including Akshay & Kareena. Thankfully Akshay is not overacting as was seen in CC2C & is funny in some scene. His action stunts are good & so are his dances in the songs. Kareena has acted like she did in KKKG with the good looking snob character. Her acting is plain average & it’s thus hard to believe she even did a movie like Jab We Met. She is looking super fit, glamorous & hot no doubt. That’s probably the only thing worth going for the guys.

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HIGHLIGHTS OF THE MOVIE

- Slumdog Millionaire was Hollywood goes Bollywood. Kambakkht Ishq is Bollywood goes Hollywood.

- Some major Hollywood stars appearing in this Bollywood flick.. although briefly.

- Great locations. Good sets. Good cinematography.

- Very good costumes, glamorous look to Akshay & Kareena giving a global fashion outlook to Bollywood in a new style.

- Kareena & Akshay looking very fit, stylish & good together.

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LOWLIGHTS OF THE MOVIE

- Absolutely stupid story.. what makes it worse it rubbish execution of it.

- Barely funny & thus should not qualify as a romantic comedy.

- Script & screenplay are bad with too many loose ends & unwanted.

- Actors like Javed Jaffery, Kiron Kher & Boman Irani are totally wasted on comeo’s. Javed & Boman don’t even have any connection to the main story.

- There is too much show of skin all through. They have forgotten tradition, culture & ethnicity.

- There is name calling, abuse, etc. desperately put in to instigate humour. How low & desperate can they get !!

- Exorbidant sets & expensive locations used to cover a poor dumb script.

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FINAL WORD

Below Average - 4.5/10.

This movie will only make you laugh if you go to see it in a theatre to a full hall with loads of friends. And if you do enjoy it then, then thank the company & not the movie makers. Else the only other reason to watch it is to see Hollywood, LA, Italy and a super sexy Kareena Kapoor who is barely wearing anything. The women can go for Akshay if they like.

The UK audience will not like this movie.. cause we watch Bollywood films so that they take us closer to our homeland & culture. Kambakkht Ishq has forgotten it’s a Bollywood movie.. if we do want to see skin show, sexy dresses & Hollywood stunts we can might as well watch Hollywood movies. This flick crosses boundaries of decency at certain levels. But hey.. they are using all this to cover up a crap script they wrote.. That’s only fair on their part to do. I call this another failed Akshay movie this year & a disappointment from Kareena.Save your £7 for a better day in this recession.

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Am a big fan of director Nagesh Kukunoor’s work; Iqbal, 3 Deewarein & Rockford being my favourites. Am thus really looking forward to this movie. The biggest advantage this movie has is the massive name of Akshay Kumar associated with it. Hence the expectation’s are high from the movie.. NOT the music.. !!

Except for 1 song in Iqbal & 1 in Rockford, there is nothing extra-ordinary in the music of Nagesh’s films. From the trailers on the tele so far, the of music of this film seems no different.

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8×10 Tasveer is a psychological thriller under the Percept Pictures Company Banner & is produced by Shailendra Singh. Starring along with Akshay are Ayesha Takia, Sharmila Tagore, Girish Karnad, Javed Jaffrey and others.

Although Salim-Sulaiman are the main music directors for this OST, they have help from singers Neeraj Shridhar & Bohemia doing the music of their own tracks. Lyrics are by Irfan Siddique for the main tracks, while Sameer & Bohemia pen one each.

Love the cover with that look Akshay has.. sure does catch your attention. The package inside seems to be the common structure these days with 5 main song & 5 remixes. Lets find out if this OST has the zing..

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REVIEW

Track 1 - Nazaara Hai - We got the exclusive of this song a week before it’s release and thus have been listening to it since then. It’s managed to grow on me.. but just a lil bit. The deep electronic bass at the start caught my attention quite instantly but dint really enjoy the acoustic drums on this composition. The structure is quite standard rock with no innovation. Vishal Dadlani’s vocals are good but not the best. Suraj Jagan could have possibly done a better job. The lyrics are good & describe Akshay’s tale. The guitar solo’s in the 2nd half are great & make it better song. It’s one of the better rock songs with the recent trend of rock flavour in Bollywood music. 7/10 .

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Track 2 - Haafiz Khuda - Mohit Chauhan does what he does best again. But I guess I have reached a point when I want to hear a new style from him. His recitation style is soulful and heart warming but just like his other numbers; eg. Masakali. The compositional arrangement is simple acoustic instrumentation & sounds like a modern sufi number. Quite like the lyrics on this song with a strong Urdu poetry influence. Tulsi Kumar’s vocals are good too. 7/10 .

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Track 3 - Aaja Maahi - Neeraj Shridhar sings this song in his true Bombay Viking’s style with English lyrics at the start. Lyrics by Sameer are so simple and smooth that you can instantly fall in love with this song. Plus Neeraj ad’s his special touch to it not just vocally but also musically. His composition reminds you Chandani Raatein by Partners in Rhyme, except for the rock interludes. The lounge feel of this song makes it perfect for a romantic night with your partner. Quite like it but it sounds familiar to things you have heard in the past. Tulsi Kumar makes this song special. 7/10 .

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Track 4 - I Got The Picture - Be it getting RDB to the music scene in India from UK or Bohemia from USA.. Akshay always does it in style. This is the second time Bohemia comes together with Akshay after CC2C on Chandni Chowk To China. That track was average. This one is below average.. It fits the theme of the movie.. but does not fit Bollywood. Bollywood can only go till a certain distance.. Experiments in music genres beyond that don’t work. This one is like listening to Eminem - The Way I Am. 5/10 - only for trying something new.

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Track 5 - Kuchh Is Tarah - It is exactly the same as Haafiz Khuda but only with simpler & more romantic lyrics. I like this version more than Track 2. Salim-Sulaiman save on their composition work while Irfan does the main work of reviving the lyrics. Mohit & Tulsi give the exact same rendition to these alternate lyrics like Track 2. 7.5/10 .

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Track 6 - Haafiz Khuda (Remix) - Yet another wasted remix by DJ Amyth. This track so does not need a remix !! Also this remix does nothing much for the song commercially either. It’s light slow mix that can only be used in lounge mix warm up sets. 4.5/10 .

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Track 7 - Nazaara Hai (Remix) - Much better this time. Sounds like DJ Amyth put some thought in this remix atleast and has done a decently good job in converting this rock song to a Electro dance mix. I can see myself & many other DJ’s using this mix in their sets. Not a commercial hit though. 6.5/10.

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Track 8 - Aaja Maahi (Remix) - Don’t quite like this remix. It completely changes the feel of the original song with a very common beat pattern that you must heard on a few million dance tracks world over. Amyth tries to give it a trance feel but fails and manages to ruin the song all together. 4/10 .

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Track 9 - I Got The Picture (Remix) - Bohemia decides to remix his song himself without handing over any any rights to Amyth. I guess he heard his other remixes on this OST.. and thus.. a wise decision I say.. ! He literally cuts the song into half by bringing the 5 plus minutes original down to 2:46. I do like his work on this as he gives his dark rap a Bhangra touch with a funky break beat pattern. Works… 6/10 .

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Track 10 - Kuchh Is Tarah (Remix) - Cross Track 5 with Track 6 [5x6] .. What do you get..? Answer is not 30.. it’s Track 10. And the score stays the same.. 4.5/10 .

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FINAL WORD

Average - 6/10.

The actual score should have been 5/10 but I am being generous as I like Kuchh Is Tarah & Nazaara Hai a little more than the recent OST releases. T-Series the record label mess it up by adding below average remixes to an otherwise decent OST. 8×10 Tasveer is not for the masses nor for the classes. Kuchh Is Tarah & Aaja Maahi are probably the only 2 tracks that will get decent radio airplay in the romantic shows. The music composition, vocal performances & lyrics lack originality and the extra punch to make this album stand out.

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So lets make this straight & simple…

From the trailers we know that CHANDNI CHOWK TO CHINA aka CC2C is to be another slapstick senseless comedy from an actor I admire - Akshay Kumar. He is no doubt a very good actor and an overall entertainer. Recently he has taken up to (for God knows reason) making mindless movies that work mainly because of his charm and stardom along with some amazing marketing. So another senseless movie is no surprise and expected the moment you walk inside that movie hall. But what you don’t expect is that the movie is not just plain dumb but is not even funny !!!

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The London premiere on 12th Jan ‘09 had all the perfect ingredients for a great evening. Red Carpet.. the biggies of the British Asian industry.. Akshay Kumar and Deepika Padukone themselves.. International star Gordon Liu… Director Nikhil Advani .. and even the SUPERSTAR dropped by to give his blessings to the movie launch.. Mr. Amitabh Bachhan was present !!

They took pictures, signed autographs and mixed around with the media in the most humble way. Then they took to the mic and Akshay proved he truly is a superstar and very funny guy too. The man clearly puts that CC2C is a “senseless movie” and one needs to “switch off their brain” to see this. Check out this video to see what he said…

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But then came the spoiler to a great evening !!  The movie started…

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PLOT

No particular story.. or not something you haven’t seen before. A small-time chef from Chandni Chowk wants to become rich and trying to do anything possible to get there. At the same time in China a local don is torturing the poor villagers. They land up in Delhi looking for a reincarnation of a mythical savior and assume our dear Sidhu to be the one. They take him to China and he falls for a model Deepika on the way. The Chinese crime lord is obviously not happy about someone come in to kill him. Deepika’s twin long lost sister works for the crime lord. Look alike confusion… Crime lord exposes dear Sidhu to be just a ‘nobody’ & kills his mentor Mithun Chakravarthy.

Sidhu swears to take revenge. Comes across Gordon Liu who used to be a cop and is the father of twin Deepika sisters. He trains Sidhu with Kung Fu and finally Sidhu uses his vegetable cutting skills to kill the nasty Crime lord to save the poor.. :-/

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REVIEW

Can’t do much with a predictable old forged story like that. The movie opens with Mithun kicking Akshay on his hind side every few minutes and he keeps flying in the air like a NASA launch vessel. Throughout the movie our dear Sidhu is carrying around and talking to a “potato”. And finally in the climax.. how does he defeat the inevitable crime lord ??  He fights him as if he is cutting vegetables with a Kung Fu combo and assuming our dear villain is a walking potato !!!!

Deepika’s second name in the movie is ‘Meow Meow’ and Ranvir Shorey’s name is Chopstick !!

Need I say more…..???

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HIGHLIGHTS OF THE MOVIE

Well you would by now imagine there are none.. But there are a few. First of all, of the 3 hours of movie there are about 3-5 funny scenes !! That’s the only 5 times there was some noise in the movie hall. Silent otherwise.

Secondly, Deepika’s action scenes are pretty good. Some of Akshay’s too. The fight direction of the movie overall is impressive as per Indian standards and average as per Chinese movie standards.

Thirdly, locations are very well shot with lot of scenes on the Great Wall of China.

And lastly, I like the song SIDHU and the sound design of the movie is pretty good.

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LOW-LIGHTS OF THE MOVIE

Where do I start..

- Useless story. Dump antics. Cheesy not-funny dialogues.

- Worst role of Deepika you will ever see ( that also double).

- Akshay is upto usual overacting and looks very silly.

- The screenplay and edit is absolutely rubbish.

- Barely any Chinese influence in the music.

- Excessive use of Mandarin.. ( Chinese influence in the movie so that would be a good realistic thing wouldn’t it ?? But where did the realism go in the story..?? Where did it go when they jump of a building top and use an umbrella as a parachute..?? )

- Can’t believe Nikhil Advani directed this movie after making movies like ‘Kal Ho Na Ho’ & ‘Salaam-E-Ishq’. What was he thinking?

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FINAL WORD

How about I be a little generous and give it 3/10.. That’s still pretty good for this movie!

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The movie sure is senseless but that is not the problem. It has been made in a shabby mindless way.. That is the problem !!

Akshay please give us something worth our money. Just because you take the camera around China and you are in it along with the gorgeous Deepika doesn’t make the movie worth it. It could have been a photo slideshow. You are a brilliant actor so please do roles that show your talent not your stupid antics.

That’s for Nikhil as well. Just because Sippy called you doesn’t mean you start a project with almost no script and story!!

Deepika.. You look great.. Please get back to modelling or get selective with your roles. You sure can be better than lot of fish out there.

NO wonder we are in recession.. They are wasting money on making movies like this. Please donate your ticket money and spend 3 hours with your loved ones rather than encourage Akshay to keep making numb movies like Singh is Kinng and CC2C…

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